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| Mike & I before the start |
Fruita 2014
The Fruita trail ½ marathon was one of this year’s few “A”
races for me. In an attempt to take the
feeling of pressure off of myself I tend to minimize in my head the importance
of each of my A races. I tell myself
that I’m just going to run it for fun, that in the grand scheme of things it
doesn’t really matter. This is not an
intentional tactic I sometimes catch myself doing it and am on some level aware
of myself reeling this story off in my mind but at the same time I am almost
incapable of changing that story line right up until I start running. I had attempted to anchor this story in my
head but my friends and coaches kept tripping me up by telling me that I was
going to do great. J That due to a breakthrough in my speed this
spring they were all excited to see what I could do. This message did two fold things for me. 1. It made me preen like a proud
peacock! How amazing that my friends
thought this of me, how awesome that made me feel and at the same time 2. it
felt a little bit heavy. What if? Well what is the worst what if? What if I disappointed the people I loved
most? What if I disappointed those
people who believed in me, supported me, cheered me on, trained me, and were
basically there for me every step of the way.
As a people pleaser this “what if” loomed in my mind. I took the four hour drive up to Fruita with
two girlfriends and amidst the humorous banter I would ride these swells of
nervous anxiety like a skilled surfer.
I slept fitfully that night unable to quite settle my
mind. When our alarms went off the next
morning my exhaustion was almost fortunate as it allowed me to just go through
my pre-race preparations without having the energy for anxiety. The car ride from our hotel to the start of
the race is only ten minutes but in that ten minutes I was able to find a sweet
spot that I typically can’t find until I start running. My mind settled, my nerves settled, I did a mental
check list of each muscle and I realized that I felt good. The thought that gently trundled through my
mind was that I would do exactly what I was capable of doing on the run
today. I would run the best I could and
nothing else mattered. My need to please
everyone around me just slid away and I knew I would run this race because I
love to run, I knew I would run as hard as I was capable of running because I
always do on every race even my B and C races.
I am almost incapable of not taking a race seriously once I start
running. I knew I would run this race
out of joy. I knew that I would see the
incredible beauty of this trail and it would fuel my soul. I knew that I would feel the strength in my
body and feel exhilarated and free.
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| Rebecca & Andrea - Post Race Walk much? |
The race didn’t start
out exactly like I would want it to but that is part of racing, there is always
going to be something that goes wrong and you have to be prepared for it or at
least flexible like a willow tree bending in the wind. This glitch was minor. As soon as I hit start on my watch it signaled
a run section, which meant that my watch was still on one minute run/walk
intervals from my last session with a client.
Can you imagine running thirteen miles with your watch beeping at you on
every minute? Instead of finding my pace
and placing myself where I needed to be for the beginning of my race I kept
futzing with my watch. I would glance up
to make sure I wasn’t about to plow into the runner in front of me and then
back down at my infernal watch which was mysteriously hiding the menu I needed. Mike was running next to me and offered to
mess with it. He tried as well but the
watch refused to give up its secrets. He
handed it back and I messed with it for the entire first half mile of my
race! Eventually I figured it out and
was able to find my race pace and my place in the pack before we hit the single
track stretches. (The good news is I now
have a firm grasp on how to turn the run/walk alert on and off.)
I ended up hitting the single track placed neatly at the
tail end of a group running just a tad bit faster than I needed to be
running. I was very pleased with myself
and able to relax a little and just hang on to that group and enjoy the run and
the beauty around me. At mile four I ate
the only race nutrition I would have for the whole race (oops, I really suck at
fueling during a race) I had two little gummies out of an entire pack and didn’t
end up eating the rest. Mile five I was
feeling tired and had let my mental game slip.
Somehow I was in the midst of an empty space, the runners in front of me
seemed too far to catch and the runners behind me were too far behind me to
fuel my competitive urge. I was suddenly
feeling some muscle aches in my calves.
Particularly my left calf felt tight and a bit painful. Somehow in this low moment of the race I
forgot what I find to be true about every race: if I keep pushing, keep running
the pain and the mental low eventually go away.
I think what got me through that low point was the fact that I am
stubborn like a bulldog and when things get tough I bite down and keep going. I end up focusing on a point in the distance
and telling myself I just have to make it to that rock or tree and then I
refocus on the next point.
I reached a steep and long downhill section and started
catching up with the group of runners in front of me. I flashed on memories of running down trails
with Michael and Mike and knew that I could bomb down this hill at full speed. I leaned forward, relaxed my muscles and let
my feet fly me down that hill. I bombed
past other runners as fast as I possibly could only sparing a fleeting thought
to what would happen if I took a header down that hill. Right at the bottom I caught up with Rebecca
who generously used her energy to cheer me on, tell me what a rockstar I am and
support me. She yelled at me about my
strength, PR’s, and other wonderful things that I am having a hard time
remembering now. J It is amazing what a boost of energy and joy
it gives to have anyone cheer you on during a race but it is especially
powerful and uplifting when it is a friend or family member.
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| Rebecca & Andrea post race |
After a quick stop for hydration at a water station I
started up the three mile uphill trek that begins at about mile 7.5. I was doing well until I lost the trail and
took off down the side of the hill.
Luckily the runner behind me informed me that I was off the trail. I climbed back up and got back on the trail
behind that runner at which point it took me another 2 miles to pass him back
again! I only jaunted off the trail two
more times after that! ;) I reached a
lovely meadow and was running through it relieved that I had finished the climb
when I happened to glance up and see the true peak above me. Back at it I was running (perhaps more of a
zombie shuffle) up a section when a small voice in my head informed me that
Mike would tell me to walk that hill. So
I walked the steeper parts and ran the switchbacks. Runners started passing me. I was a little discouraged but again just bit
down and kept moving forward. Trail
runners are amazing. Every single one of
them who passed me on that uphill section took the time and energy to encourage
me and tell me how well I was doing. I
realized that I am not always great at doing the same in return. I think part of it is how internal I am when
I run. The other factor is that I don’t
want them to think that I think I am better than they are as I am very aware
that they may be passing me back at any moment.
I need to get that out of my head and just cheer my fellow racers on when
I have the energy to do so.
I finally reached the peak of that monstrous mountain and
gave myself the liberty to glance out over the stunning valley beneath me with
triumph in my heart. When the view
started to make me dizzy I focused back on my race. With less than a 5K left I started to feel
that blessed euphoria that tends to flood me at the end of a long race. Couple that with a long, technically challenging,
steep downhill and I felt like I was flying.
I tore down that mountain with speed, ease, and grace. My legs informed me that my brakes were not
in the best of condition anymore and that my muscles were weary. I told them to just hold on for a few more
miles. I bombed past two runners and
heard one say to the other “Damn, she is light on her feet!” Bless his heart, he gave my feet wings and my
mind even more focus and determination.
The final mile of the race is a rolling, wide, dirt road. I hit that road and knew I just had to run it
out. I heard a runner coming up from
behind me and wondered if I had any fuel left to speed up just a touch. I did but he had more and as he ran by me I
realized it was the older gentleman who had commented on my downhill
running. He again took the energy to
tell me how amazing I was on that downhill section. I encouraged him in return and he passed me
with such strength, ease and grace. It
was inspirational to watch him cross the finish line. The last quarter of a mile I poured on all
the speed I had left with joy in my heart and crossed that finish line 17 (not
the 19 I originally thought it was) minutes faster than I had the year
before.
As usual at the end of the race I am filled with such
gratitude for the friends and family who have supported me, cheered me on, and
listened to me talk about my running ad nauseum. I am grateful for the runners on the trail
who gave me a bit of camaraderie and encouragement. I am thrilled to have the strength, skill,
and determination to run as far and as fast as I set my mind to. I learned that I want to run with strength and
humbleness. I learned that I want to
give others encouragement any time I can during a race. I learned that I still suck at racing
nutrition and hydration! Thanks for
sticking with me for that long race report!
See you on the trails, roads, or in our sessions together!
With gratitude and joy,
Andrea
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| Jen, Andrea, Rebecca & Kate Post Race! |
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| Rebecca, Michael, Andrea post race! |
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